The dog ate my homework

As I sit here typing, Sophie and Finnigan are wrestling on the Lazy Boy.
She's on his back biting his ears. Clearly she has the advantage, sort of like one of those birds you see on top of hippos who eat the flies off.
Meanwhile, Gordie is sitting here crying, wanting me to pick him up -- all 30 pounds of him -- and coddle him. In the past week, Gordie has become a different pug thanks to Dr. Dave's thyroid remedy. That's not necessarily a good thing.
With two puppies in the house, it has been a bit of a relief having Gordie being docile and sleepy. Now that's he's woken up, all he does is whine and demand my attention. Bad enough I have to carry him everywhere. As I explained to my friend Jennette the other day, Gordie insists on having a mid-day nap behind my knees and needs to be cuddled for at least three hours before bedtime.
I imagine it's like having a cranky mother-in-law stay with you. Nothing you do is ever enough.
Anyway, Sophie is forcing us to reduce our carbon footprint.
As you can see from the photo above if there is any paper on the coffee table or in the black box, Sophie will tear it to smithereens. So I've cancelled my newspaper.
It was hard to break it to my carrier that I am forced to be carbon free because of a destructive pug but it's the God's honest truth. It will be even harder to explain to the revenuers why my tax files are no longer in order as they've either been pissed on or torn up.
The dog ate my homework is a legitimate excuse in this household.