Sunday, 3 February 2013

Help a girl out, huh?

Well folks.
It's come to this.
I wasn't sure what to call it.
No I'm not begging.
Scott says it's more like busking, you know, providing a little entertainment on a wintry afternoon for you folks.
Instead of taking my guitar to the Sparks Street Mall -- which would be ridiculous because I can't sing or play guitar, heck, I don't even have a guitar -- I'm busking right here in my kitchen.
Using Bell Fibe Internet and the ten falanges attached to my wrists.
Think of me as a virtual busker.
My greatest hits, you can enjoy them over and over again. They are to the right of this blog along with something called a Donate button.

That's what you click if you want to support my silly hobby.
Along the way, I might have a few things to sell as well.
Scott has this cool flag from the time Nunavut first became a territory. As with all things up that way somebody probably had a bit of hooch and made a bunch of flags with a mistake in them. So Scott has one of the bogus flags that has never adorned a flagpole.
We also have a Canadian Airborne shirt for an elite group that no longer exists.
I have a firefighter's uniform shirt from Toronto. Don't ask.
And I have my Team Chretien polar fleece which was given to war room staffers in the 2000 election. Not many of them around. If you're a Liberal after today, you might want my Chretien polar fleece to sleep in and dream of the good old days before Stephane Dion and Bob Rae.
What else could I sell?
I am a writer, but unlike my friends, I don't write books.
I simply don't have the attention span. Besides, every time I re-read any sort of fiction I've written, I immediately delete it. Especially the sex scenes.
The only people who would get horny reading my sex scenes are geriatric patients.
Or twelve year olds who find the sight of a gas pump appealing.
We have a 14-year-old Subaru that still works and three dogs.
I could sell them.
But we need transportation and love. So selling them is out.
Really, it's just me. A blogger standing before a reader asking him/her to support this blog.
Like Julia Roberts in Notting Hill.
God, I loved that movie.
I digress.
I'm asking you to throw me couple bucks here and there.
Don't worry. I don't see blog busking as a living.
I just need to pay for some incidentals.
Like dog food. The Hydro bill. The occasional cup of cappucino.
In my dreams, I'd love a real computer.
Not this piece of shit I'm forced to write on.
Maybe you could help pay the tax on it.
Think of a donation as like buying me a beer at the Press Club.
Maybe a club sandwich.
Anyhoo, if you like this blog and want to keep reading it, reach deep.
I'm sure there's a loonie or two in the lining of your own Team Chretien polar fleece.
I accept all major credit cards. Paypal, too.
Hey, what can I say, I'm an innovator
Anything is appreciated.
Thanks for your patronage.
Come again.

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